Can we allow ourselves to sit with someone in their pain? Let me start by say this: I grew up Catholic and am still a faithfully, practicing Catholic. I realize a fair amount of my readers will also be Catholic and/or Christian. I’m trying to listen and learn and I don’t want to be another white voice overpowering those who really need to be heard right now. Which is why I didn’t write anything for a while; because I didn’t want my voice to be drowning out anyone else’s. But, I realized that in not writing something, I might be giving the wrong idea about who I am. And, since I process by writing, I didn't feel like I could write about anything else without first writing about the plague that is racism in this country. As Fulton Sheen said: “The refusal to take sides on great moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil.” If you’re reading this right now, and you haven’t read BIPOC (black, indigenous, people of color), Catholics thought's about Black Lives Matter, please don’t read mine. Read their’s: Gloria Purvis or, click for an interview she did about 'The Gift of Blackness to the Church' Alessandra Harris Linda B. or click here for her instagram: @camericanchick Karianna Frey or click here for her instagram: @kariannafrey Justina Kopp's instagram @justinakopp Olga Segura Vanesa Zuleta And a priest, Fr. Matthew Hawkins About a month ago, I spoke with a woman who I greatly respect (who is also the leader of the organization I’m with) and she said something that really struck me, “Jesus always stood with the oppressed.” He didn’t tell someone that he/she wasn't being oppressed. Jesus didn't get into arguments with him/her over how great God the Father was in freeing his Jewish people; He didn't negate the oppression someone was feeling. No, in fact, Jesus sat with the oppressed (John 4: 4-27, the woman at the well). He ate with them (Matthew 9:9-13, Jesus eats dinner at a tax collector’s house). He healed them (Luke 8:43-48, woman healed of her hemorrhaging). He defended them (John 8:3-11, the woman caught in adultery). Remember the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and dragged out to be stoned to death by the Jewish “leaders”? Much to the surprise of everyone involved, instead of dying a slow and painful death, the woman was defended by Jesus, redeemed, and according to some biblical scholars became the woman known as Mary Magdalene who was one of Jesus’ closest friends (not everyone agrees that Mary Magdalene was the woman caught in adultery, but she was definitely a woman who was one of Jesus’ closest friends, stayed by His side until His death, and was the first person that saw Him after His resurrection, so she was a phenomenal woman in any case). Black lives matter, right? So, why not focus more on the lives that are being oppressed, rather than at the anger and hurt that people are operating out of? I kind of get it - you don’t want your statues torn down, you don’t want your cities looted; your businesses burned. So, perhaps you’re feeling defensive. And, in a fight-or-flight mode, our bodies are hard-wired to ignore empathy and do what we need to do to survive. But, maybe, if we let our defenses down, we can see the racism that fueled the riots (or defilement of statues) in the first place. I can also kind of understand feeling unable to morally support the Black Lives Matter (BLM) Movement. Maybe you don’t agree with everything their leaders have said, or you don’t agree with everything they stand for. So, you don’t feel comfortable supporting a group that you can’t get behind 100%. Can I ask some questions, though? If you’ve voted before, did you agree with everything that candidate said and did? May I ask where you go shopping? Do you shop at Target, Walmart, Marshalls, Amazon? Wherever you shop, do you know where they receive all of their products and if everything is made and manufactured in an ethical way (with fair labor wages and conditions)? What about where you buy your food? Is it made and packaged in ways that respect the creation God has given us? Perhaps you’ve agreed with everything that the candidate you voted for has said and done. Perhaps you only shop fair trade, or know exactly how each product you buy is manufactured. Maybe you only buy food from local farmers and it doesn’t have any harmful packaging. And for that, I’ve gotta give props to you. Because, honestly, that’s my goal. I would love to only shop local or with small businesses. I would love to buy all of my food from local, small farmers; I would love to know the candidates that I vote for. But unfortunately, I live in America and that is a desire that seems as far from reality as reality TV. So, if the case is that we support individuals, companies and corporations who we don’t agree with 100%, then why can’t we look at the Black Lives Matter Movement, objectively, and say “Yes, I agree that black lives matter”? Full stop. Thing is, if there was another movement advocating for change and mobilizing thousands of millions of people to fight for justice and racial equity, perhaps I would be supporting that movement. But there’s not. Are there other organizations and people who are fighting against racism? Yes, absolutely. But, none on the scale of the Black Lives Matter Movement. Perhaps if “all lives matter” was an actual movement that actually supported all lives, and advocated for change, then I would be willing to support them. “All lives matter” started as a hashtag and as a rebellion against the Black Lives Matter Movement (yes, I realize that’s a Wikipedia link, but it’s the only website I could find that talked about the origins of the ‘all lives matter’ hashtag). But, there’s no actual “all lives matter” movement. I have yet to find anyone who started the “all lives matter” hashtag who is actually fighting for racial equity, or find anyone who has taken up that hashtag as a way to bring justice to the oppressed. If someone finds something different, please feel free to prove me wrong. But, honestly, if all I do here is stir up debate, then I am not making myself clear enough. Let’s cut the debating. Let’s cool it with the “Yes, but." Can we not see that there are people who are literally screaming out that they are being oppressed? Can we not at least acknowledge that? And if we can acknowledge that, then can we let ourselves do something about it? Many Catholics or Christians have an issue with the Black Lives Matter Movement. For those of you who are Christian and/or Catholic and are wondering if participating in such a movement is morally acceptable, that is a conclusion you have to come to on your own. But, I was brought hope and solace when I participated in a zoom call with young adults and a Catholic priest who is in the order of Franciscan Friars of the Renewal (a CFR priest in New York) who said: “Working with someone on a particular issue doesn’t mean you buy into their entire agenda.” Thank you, Fr. Herald. If your issue is with the Black Lives Matter movement, then fine. Can we at least acknowledge someone's pain, though? Can we sit with our black and brown and BIPOC brothers and sisters and be with them in their pain? If you have tangible solutions to the racism in this country, then I’m all ears. If you have other suggestions as to how to mobilize a population that has been oppressed for hundreds of years other than by taking to the streets and showing them that they’re not alone, then by all means, please do tell. If you have resources on how to help build bridges between races, then please share. But, if all you have to say (or post, or share) is echoing a narrative of “systematic racism isn’t real," or arguing until the cows come home about police brutality, or trying to prove how “un-Catholic” the BLM Movement is, then can I ask what you’re trying to accomplish? Other than making a point…? What point are you trying to make? If your point is: “Well, there’s just as many deaths by police against white people as there are against black, and here are the statistics to back me up.” (I doubt you’ll find this, but I digress) Or, perhaps your point is: “But we need cops, so I can’t get behind this” or, “I know a lot of good cops, so I can’t advocate that any of them could be abusing their power.” Or, maybe it’s: “The BLM Movement is actively against the Church, so I can’t support anything they do.” Perhaps you don’t understand what the big deal is, or why all this “racist” stuff is coming out now. Maybe you’re thinking - What’s wrong with Aunt Jemima anyway? (Again, if you’d like further reading from people much more knowledgeable than me, please stop reading my hoopla, and click on the names listed earlier) But, the point is - you’re trying to make a point. And there are real people with real stories, who are hurting. Who are oppressed by the systems in this country. Who are literally dying because they’re being racially profiled as “criminals” (you don’t have to take my word for that last one - check out the documentary 13th here, or on Netflix). If we’re really trying to stand with the oppressed, I don’t think there are many points to be made. We need to sit and listen to our brothers and sisters who are hurting, who are wounded, and who are suffering. Can we discuss things? Absolutely. Let’s ask open-ended questions and listen in order to understand where someone is coming from. Let’s learn. I mean, can you imagine if a Bishop or Cardinal (heyyy Dolan), sat down with a leader in the Black Lives Matter movement to simply listen and talk? If this happens, I will be singing Gods praises and be Hallelujah-ing all day long (and, there are actually some people (including a priest), who want to do this...so, THERE’S HOPE). Has arguing ever gotten anyone anywhere? Arguing ensues when I start trying to prove you wrong. When I start looking for articles, watching videos and reading posts that prove that I’m right and you’re wrong. When I ask you a question and immediately stop listening to your answer in order to think of the next point that I’m going to make. Sitting with someone in their oppression is hard. I think we all know that listening to someone express their pain can be excruciating to hear. And, when I share my lived experience with someone the last thing I want to hear is “That couldn’t have been what really happened,” or, “Well, you shouldn’t have done that.” This leads itself either to more pain, or an argument and we’re back in the saddle again. I read this somewhere so I can’t take credit for it (nor can I remember where I read it from), but the Black Lives Matter Movement is doing the racial equity work that the Catholic Church should have been doing a long time ago (I despise using the word ‘should,’ but I can’t come up with a better word). We all know of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who, was a Christian reverend who obviously was a major leader of the Civil Rights Movement. Why aren't we, as Christians, the leaders of racial justice and equity today? I know there are articles and links to specific churches, or people (one being Dorothy Day), who advocate for racial justice (I was glad to find my former college chaplin Fr. Rutten speaking up, shout out to my UST homies). And, yes, absolutely, the people, the churches, the documents written by Church leaders, and the movements we have are good. But, the Catholic Church as a whole? We need to step up. And I say “we,” because the Church includes not only the priests and religious nuns, but you, me, and that one cute old woman who goes to Mass every day. Have we been fighting for racial equity? I can say from personal experience that I haven’t. We need more than letters and statements; we need to be on the front lines of this fight. Why? Because our BIPOC brothers and sisters who are being accused and profiled as “criminals” have been outcasted in society. They’re the modern day outcasts. And, if I want to model my life after Jesus, who sat, ate, healed and befriended the outcasts, then I need to start standing up; I need to be better. Church, we can do better. Earlier I mentioned that I would be singing God’s praises if I heard that a Bishop or Cardinal had dinner with a leader of the BLM Movement. But, what’s stopping me from inviting a leader over to my house for dinner (other than because of the ‘rona)? I can hold my leaders to a high standard (and we need to), but I can’t expect them to do something that I wouldn’t do myself. To those of you in pain: I'm sorry I haven't done better. I want to do, to be, to act, better. Church, let's get to work.
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hey.my moto is summarized best by these words:
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” -Brene Brown thanks Brene. you're quite the gal. Past Musings
July 2020
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